Finding Your “It” Factor

Nothing breaks my heart like seeing an amazing woman want a man in her life so bad that she unknowingly gives off that desperate vibe. You know what I’m talking about, and you know what it attracts…everything BUT the incredible Mr. Right she deserves.

She makes herself INSANE wondering what she’s doing wrong and why she keeps attracting the “wrong” guy. Yet over the years I’ve realized the answer is crazy simple. If you want to find truly amazing love, you have to work your “IT” factor.

“IT” is who you are: your authentic personality and the combination of qualities that make you special and attractive. No one else on earth has it. If you can learn to love “IT” {and yourself} amazing things will happen. You’ll let go of the desperation, start seeing how much you have to offer, become more confident, and as a result, instantly more attractive. So no matter what your age or relationship status, it’s time for you to finally acknowledge your God-given awesomeness and ROCK “IT.”

When I started dating Thom, it was his “IT” factor that made me fall hard. He…

  • Has compassionate confidence & control
  • Makes everyone feel special
  • Has impeccable taste & pairing skills
  • Has amazing clarity & persistence to get what he wants
  • Can solve anything…and I mean anything

But here’s the cool thing. Your “IT” factor isn’t just about love. It’s about the special things you bring to all your relationships. And there are lots of ways “IT” can work for you.  “IT”…

  1. Is Your Success Formula. While I love that Thom always picks the perfect bottle of wine and can stand up to my stubborn independence when I need some TLC, those same qualities make him wildly successful in his career, a trusted partner to his clients, and beloved by his family and friends too. They create success in lots of situations, not just in love, but also in life.
  2. Shows You Where to Focus. By now I’m sure you’ve heard it’s a much more effective use of energy to build on your strengths rather than improve your weaknesses. And your “IT” factor is what naturally makes you shine. So quit worrying about the things that aren’t “IT” for you. Someone else can rock them. Embrace yours and focus on how you can leverage “IT” even more – everywhere – and I promise you’ll see huge gains in every area of your life.
  3. Gives You a Place to “Reset”. Have you ever turned into a total biotch or done something completely out of character because you were under stress or in an unhealthy relationship? Often times we take on a persona that’s not us in response to a bad situation. But when you know your “IT” factor, you know who you need to CHOOSE to be to get back to the best version of you there is.

So how do you find “IT?” I discovered Thom’s “IT” factor over many months of dating.  And seeing it in yourself can be even harder.  But luckily I’ve got a shortcut for you.

Your Invitation: Go on a group date! I want you to ask 5-10 people this question…”When I am at my absolute best, what are the qualities that make me shine?”

This week, make it your mission to

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” ~Dolly Parton

Until next time…

Lots of love,


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